A Life Divine

my love for you is the key for our journey through this destiny// (i think i finally get it) and i know that now/ it took years of failure/ and lying to myself/ so i could see// you and me more than a family/ tighter than a team and stronger than an army/ one, two keys turning at the same time/ opening a gold mine/ a life divine// you’re unconvinced at this state/ but my question is “can you fight fate”?// (i think i finally get it) i never felt more certain in my life/ and at such a touchy time (and i believe) it still feels right (i’ll make you see)//Â you and me more than a family/ tighter than a team and stronger than an army/ one, two keys turning at the same time/ opening a gold mine/ a life divine// i know that i’ve done enough/ enough damage to pay with years of this/ but i promise you that change was made at the same instant/ that you’d had enough of me/ enough of us/ enough guessing how i felt/ i never felt so sure about anything or anybody else.//Â you and me more than a family/ tighter than a team and stronger than an army/ one, two keys turning at the same time/ opening a gold mine/ a life divine


A Rebound Shouldn’t Last This Long

My darling/ my dove/ the girl that I love/ its been like a year and I’m still dreaming of/ your voice/ like wind/ and how I sinned you// Right away you jumped ship/ attached to his hip/ I’m having nightmares of your neck on his lips/ but cling like glue to thoughts of we two// I should be moving on/ I know this/ a rebound shouldn’t last this long/ I can’t bare it/ its apparent you love him/ still you’ll find me holding on// If we’re A to B/ then how fit in C?/ I’ve got my BA/ yeah my bachelor’s degree/ on missing you/ see what you do to me/ Do you plan with he/ what you planned with me/ of all those round trips and the places we’d see/ but can’t quite bring yourself ring true?


Back in 9th Grade

On the first day of high-school I totally fell for you. It was the very first class, and you were exactly the kind of girl I’d hoped I’d run into. And you took that summer as cue to totally start anew, and leave a new kid like me without a clue. The girl I thought I loved back in 9th grade must have gotten hot over nitrate. Chemistry. We had Chemistry. Not just class but the other kind. Girl, being that I was the new man on campus i needed cool friends. Then they told me, oh what a nuisance, you’ve been a nerd since kindergarten. And if you weren’t such a geek I’d probably have fallen for you. But I had a reputation to uphold. The girl I thought I loved back in 9th grade must have gotten hot over nitrate. Chemistry. We had Chemistry. Not just class but the other kind. And if I wasn’t such a dick I’d probably have fallen for you. But I had a reputation to uphold.


Caught You Staring

Assuming you want to stay/ assuming I’m worth the effort/ assuming the oath you made/ wasn’t just a whim that day/ assuming I’ve changed my ways/ assuming I’ve worked on my end/ assuming I take the blame/ would you say you’ve done the same?/ I saw you/ with no rain and no pain in your eyes/ its so true/ with no clouds and no shame from our minds/ to flutter through/ insane but its pure and its right/ and I love you/ did you catch the same look from the side of your eye/ a dozen times/ from me any given night?// Assuming we saw the light/ and we learned what we were missing/ assuming we’re worth the fight/ and we know that this feels right/ when we’re in each other’s minds/ even when we make bad choices/ cause we know we’ll never find/ another love like yours and mine// Long talks and assumptions/ dark thoughts and presumptions/ there’s fears and uncertainty/ and tears/ insecurity/ but all that aside/ there’s a look in our eyes/ that never lies/ and can’t be denied….


Disappear Here

Have you convinced yourself that you're happy/ with him, and you're where you're supposed to be./ Cause you're fading, colour is draining/ and you're losing that spark in your eye/ why did you settle, and fall into a boring life spent with some boring dude?/ I've watched your world get duller. we all deserve another/ perfect lover that will make our star shine bright/ overhead his cloud does hover/ blocking out the sky above her/ Come with me and lets take off into the night/ Disappear here./ Did it stem from excitement or passion/ your relationship? Or was it easy?/ Because it shouldn't be. Oh no/ When you're 80 would you look back and say you took a shot at/ the unknown... ground zero../ and got rewarded ten fold?/ My love you're more than able/ to upgrade yet still stay stable/ if pen to paper you to decipher this fable/ you'll discover that your lover's incapable/ Just look in their eyes and point at your heart and say/ disappear here.


Disclaimer!

I promise not to start this off with the words “I’m sorry”….. I’m sorry if and when i hurt you– just know that I won’t mean to. But I’m starting off this relationship wrong. And I know its not your job to undo, or make me feel I’m wanted by someone. I guess you’re feeling like you’re plan B, the runner up, contingency, Part 2. Hey baby, you’ve just gotta believe me, I promise thats not what I’m trying to do. So here’s my disclaimer: I work on retainer, so just know that no contract with you can undo my past. So here’s my disclaimer, my word of reminder that our rebounds are just “rebounds” later on when we look back. And today I had a set-back, or more like a flashback, when going through a box of my old things. And I came across a photograph and tears came flooding down with memories. And you could call it reminiscing, but the reasons that I’m with you are all wrong. But I’m hoping that you’ll stick with me, cause thats the one thing that she hadden’t done. I promise not to end this off with the words “I’m sorry”….


Do You

Do let's address the most interesting thing you can do with another person. And I don’t mean get to know them. At least not from the inside out. So let's say what’s on our minds. Find a piece of strange. It's time to forget what’s proper and to see what’s offered is a chance to feel alive. I wanna do you. Do you. And I’m pretty sure that you want to do it with me too. Just give me a sign– it’ll be crazy, boo. We didn’t arrive together, but we found each other in this house of a hundred hook-ups. All we had to do was look up and we’ve been hitting it off all night. The escape is all we’ll know. If you feel safe and comfortable, this could be the release that we need to break the mold.


Everytime, Girl O’ Mine

every time i see you/ my heart stops/ and my breathing too/ no i don’t even have to see you/ only think of you/ and my heart gets torn in two// every time i think i/ see you driving by/ or from a crowd behind/ i feel my temperature go sky-high/ and i realize/ i’m more afraid of you than dying// afraid to check my phone calls or my email/ i’m living in complete fear of a female/ “is it so hard to imagine life without me now?”/ no this is more like HELL// every time i see you/ my heart stops/ and my breathing too/ no i don’t even have to see you/ only think of you/ and my heart gets torn in two, three, four/ its more than i can bare.


For Miles in Denial

The past 6 weeks she felt like the feeling was gone. But he can’t seem to handle seeing her go. From what he sees it seems like the feeling was strong, so how could she just break up and tell him move on? Try to let her go, but its hard to follow through. The more she thinks you think she’s coming back the harder she’ll try to disprove that. He tells his peeps that she’s all that matters. He’s past his peak, he won’t find a better one. So why’d the “perfect” girl for you move on? Were things as good as you would like to lead on? Simple but its true. Its a typical, manipulable, thing to sink to such a level. A sinking ship, a desperado, clinging to another vessel for miles in denial.


Francis

Human interaction/ past kindness or consideration/ or justice/ or satisfaction/ no hope, no love, no warmth or cold or comfort/ a hunger for abstraction/ a taste for total acquisition/ and we're both victims of sickness running deep/ but when I play violently our roles read differently/ Not playing to win, I find, every so often, I ride one off the cliff/ we lay in the red. Its my razor redemption/ for those who've seen within/ Wounded broken weakness/ terrible loneliness/ its violence for darkness, silence/ unworthy to be seen/ It comes more naturally than stock intimacy/ My god this world to me is so boring/ won't you be my plaything/ But I do wrong, and of course I long to understand this madness/ (my desire for approval, and purpose I'm representing)


Fully Aware, Fully Prepared

I’m gonna drive myself mad again/ my best friend says “don’t you know you do this all the time”/ i heard about another crush i’m in/ i’m gonna go hook up with her and help fill my ego then// i’m fully aware that this will go on and on till another catches my eye/ fully prepared to sell myself short and go/ go with it/ fully aware that this is for/ all the wrong reasons entirely/ but this part’s too much fun for me to just sit back and let it go// i’ve gone and driven myself mad again/ her best friend tells me “she’s been hurt too much” but i never wanted to commit/ well maybe i said i did/ but i don’t remember it// it makes me feel good about me/ enjoy it while it lasts, sorry// seemed like a good idea at the time/ line by line as i justify whats on my mind/ i had no way of knowing that i’d make you cry or my interest would decline in such a short time.


Get Me the Rock Outta Here

The clock is slowly ticking by, but not as slow as i would like it to. If i were closer to my dreams I would want this time to speed on through. I wanna rip out all the pages in my calender– be standing motionless in time forever after. ‘Cause every empty day that passes by without a forward movement I wanna give up. How am I supposed to feel better when I don’t really feel anything at all at all? How am I supposed to get better when I don’t really get anything at all at all? Get me the rock outta here. If something’s gonna happen you’d better make it snappy. I want to dissapear. Get me the rock outta here. I’m losing all my senses. I’m going numb, defensive, and feeling insecure. Its been 5 years and my bedroom mirror only has to show me a face that’s losing hope. If only it wasn’t there I wouldn’t care about reflections telling me i’ve gone nowhere. “I am the immesurable potential of all that was, is and will be. And my desires are like seeds left in the ground. They wait for the right season and then spontainiously manifest into beautiful flowers and majestic forests”. If this doesn’t happen soon I think I’ll be reduced to an unfeeling mess of depression.


Gonna Leave You In the Summertime (She’s Just Being Gay)

she’s gonna gonna leave you in the summertime/ her friends are better and she’ll say goodbye/ its a 3 month girls night out// you’ll find the goddess Venus is in retrograde/ she’s gonna stay hidden ’til a later date/ you’re on your own for now.// she’s just being gay/ not gay in the usual sense of the word/ but she might as well be/ she’ll try to break it off with you/ she won’t even talk to you/
she won’t even offer you a reason/ she’ll be back/ don’t have a fucking heart attack// “i’ll catch ya catch ya later, baby”/ i’ll be that much insaner, maybe// so you’d better get ready for some lonely nights/ try to figure out/ but its a losing fight/ just exactly what went down// she’s just being gay/ not gay in the usual sense of the word/ but she might as well be/ she’ll try to break it off with you/ she won’t even talk to you/ she won’t even offer you a reason/ she’ll be back/ don’t have a fucking heart attack// “somebody SCREAM” .// she’s just being gay/ not gay in the usual sense of the word/ but she might as well be/ she’ll try to break it off with you/ she won’t even talk to you/
she won’t even offer you a reason/ she’ll be back/ don’t have a fucking heart attack


Groundhog Day

Inside my ride/ a weekend night/ we hit it off more than you'd ever think./ The best of times/ you and I always seemed to find/ it starts off slow but always ends up sweet/ But when we go to sleep/ somehow you always forget me./ Talk to you tomorrow when we do this all again/ and you pretend that this never happened./ Every Monday morning as the weekend ends/ and you resend the invitation/ Signs of what's to come/laced through conversation/ sins, lies and love/ hints like we might just be each other's next one/ Is it moving too fast too soon/ when I leave to the shadows loom with/ all the evils of your past exhumed/ By definition a crush must hurt, and they do/ Try again tomorrow, do this all again/ and we can pretend that this all makes sense.


Guess I Gotta Guess

I’ve got more hangups than a bad telemarketer/ but will she meet me first before she disconnects/ and i hope and pray that she initiates/ this conversation first because i’m scared to death/ i couldn’t be less approachable if totally engulphed in flames/ with a smile she could make me drop and spin/ i’d just like to hear a nice remark from her/ because this loneliness is wearing kinda thin// guess i gotta guess why/ all the girls avoid me like poison/ is it cause i’m 7 feet wide/ or act like i’m 7 years old// is there a point to wondering, and pondering, and overthinking this/ I don’t wanna be the Socrates of geeks/ is it something like she thinks she’s being a pest/ do i look dumb, is something in my teeth?// my biggest problem is that all my favourite girls are too shy to talk to me and i’m so nervous i could hurl/ when i try to talk to them/ so i keep my mouth shut/ and end up looking like a snob ’cause i’m afraid of screwing up.


Heartbroken

heartbroken/ my jaw wide open/ my blood stops flowing as realization hits/ i feel like I’m floating/ also heavy as a stone/ its from this moment my reality shifts// and i owe it all to you/ how could you?/ I sat here waiting for your call and tall excuses from you/ after all you put me through/ i still love you/ i’m left alone with questions/ questions you won’t let me ask you// heartbroken/ i’m coughing and i’m choking like the very air is smoking/ and i don’t feel very well/ i’m filled with paranoia/ and i’m not allowed to call you/ know that i’m inside a custom-made HELL//Â and i owe it all to you/ how could you?/ I sat here waiting for your call and tall excuses from you/ after all you put me through/ i still love you/ i’m left alone with questions/ questions you won’t let me ask you/ let me ask you/ i wanna ask you if you love me too// no light without dark/ no fire without spark/ no change without remarkable pain to the heart// my mind’s defined by my heart’s desires/ my spine’s aligned and my feet inspired/ by time required to put out the fire/ that blocks the way between now and entire bliss// we were heading for disaster/ now we’re on our way to rapture/ and our happily ever after// and i owe it all to you/ and i thank you.


I Don’t Think That This Will Happen

Now I know that I’m not good enough for you. No more complaining that nobody made the first move. To make it last I cleared my past. Now that disaster’s gone, its true. If only you could too. Whoa, the sky has blackened. And I don’t think that this will happen. Alright, seriously lady, you’re driving me crazy. I’ve done all that I could figure. Your previous reasons, excuses even, on why you could not pull the trigger. I made it my mission to solve them. I’m wishing you’d make up your mind. Whoa, the sky has blackened. And I don’t think that this will happen. The goddamn plane has crashed into the mountain.


If I Had a Dime

Make no mistake, there are no mistakes. Your harder times, your heartbreaks, the pain you go through now will take you to a place where you’re destined to be. I don’t know where my future lies, but I know that fate is on my side. Those times and girls that made me cry, I wanna thank you and give you my love. Because in the end I’m better off because if I had a dime for each time that I heard you let out another sigh I’d be blinded with virtue, and on my way to being a millionaire. But since i paid no mind to each time that I hurt you, then I became the one who was bloodied and purple, and on my way to being a millionaire. I’ve had my share of ups and downs, despair, repair, and smiles and frowns. I could be broke and tapping out, but I’m a million times richer in here…. the place I’ll always hold you dear. Place your faith in all your dreams. You’ll make it. Even your mistakes will be clear when you reach that day, and say “I never strayed, and by way of pain I came here”.


I’m Down With That

Its friday night again. I’ll call you when my parents leave. I’ll see you then. We’ll hang in the back room. Invite our friends from school… the usual. The 8 of us including you. The last time until june. Watching late night talk shows, crank the stereo. On fullblast, filling the room. I wouldn’t change a thing. I hope things stay the same. Hit the store. Ride the snake. Walking under the moon. We’ll just hang out with no plans at all. I’m down with that. We’ll sit and shoot the shit and watch our favourite movies all night long. Put on a movie. Something crazy like Bloodsport or UFC. The girls getting into it too. I wouldn’t change a thing. I hope things stay the same. Hit the store. Ride the snake. Walking under the moon. We’ll just hang out with no pants at all. I’m down with that. We’ll sit and shoot the shit and watch our favourite movies all night long. Stop your whining. If you’ve got a better idea bring it on. All this time we’re forming friends and wicked memories. We won’t appreciate until its gone. Who needs it all when you’re “blah blah blah blah blah” with friends you love?


I Rule You Suck

Long time yeah/ good friend of mine/ you believed in what I believed in/ everything was fine/ time flies when you’re in a disaster/ but I didn’t mind/ cause I knew what was in line/ you said goodbye at the worst possible time// The most beautiful girl alive/ years spent/ a commitment declined/ you believed in what I believed in/ you believed in what I believed in/ but I lost my mind/ and you said goodbye at the worst possible time// I rule you suck/ cause I’m a rockstar/ and you’re not/ you’re not/ and no thanks to you/ now all my dreams have come true/ come true// Friends come and go like the nights/ seven years/ a hundred peers/ said goodbye/ cryptic words and evasive actions/ they stayed together/ but I was severed/ got left behind/ they said goodbye/ I hope they fuckin’ die// For years I didn’t feel special/ and its all cause of you/ you made me feel like an asshole/ but it just wasn’t true/ for years I didn’t feel special/ and its all cause of you/ you made me feel like an asshole/ but the asshole was you…


Its Part of Me

Eyes are open/ heart is broken/ they have spoken/ the nay-sayers finally won/ ’cause all their voices stole my choices/ and destroyed rejoices/ and said it couldn’t be done/ is that me/ is that all that I’ve amounted to?/ broken dreams/ empty halls/ that they can wander through/ where all they see on the walls are the nails and screws/ that once hung painted dreams of the brightest hues// Honestly/ its part of me/ that they can’t taint with that disease/ I’ve taken falls/ I’ve heard it all/ but I will stand up tall/ with style/ Forever I endeavor and I’m never gonna sever/ I will follow to the letter what I know is right/ and even if they don’t believe/ still when I die they’ll open me/ and find a heart that stubbornly still clings to life// Telling me you don’t believe/ I don’t want to hear about it/ welcome us to your scene/ scream shout it/ scream shout it/ all the wheels of this machine/ turn as one and never doubt it/ giving us what we need/ rock out it ROCK// When it rains/ sunshine/ it pours/ tickle my back and I’ll get yours


I Once Had

January/ fairly early/ falling for some crush/ I’m sure we’re meant to be more/ “February/ friend of a friend/ hung out a couple times/ not sure if I liked him”/ March Break I take her to a powder bowl/ a premier/ a Rock and Roll festival/ “April, May/ if I remember it right/ we hung out all day and decided one night/ we’ll hook up/ if only for summer”// I once had the most beautiful girl/ it scared me to death because she was my whole world/ it was love with a capital L in that it started with Heaven and it ended in Hell/ “I once had the most beautiful boy/ and every second that we spent I enjoyed it/ but times change and people move on/ though he wanted more/ I knew the feeling was gone”//Â Summer went and came just like a hurricane/ but leaves change/ September blew them all away/ “new school/ new life/ there’s no time/ but i’ll try to write”/ There’s distance between us/ and to my surprise/ its on the map in fact as well as her eyes/ “With a sigh/ we went for a drive under November skies/ one final time/ goodbye/ we’re not gonna make it”// Every moment spent/ and every breath you take/ was the best I had/ and then my heart would break/ there’s no happy ending/ so for both our sakes/ lets just kiss one last time/ and then walk away…


Jump, Baby

commited? i admit it. no, it wasn’t my style. if i did it maybe, baby you’d have stayed for a while. but i didn’t. (i know) and i regret it (and so), i should’ve known. it was scary but contrary to my stupid beliefs, there was nary jane or mary that could mean what you did to me. you’re amazing. and I was crazy. now I’m all alone. and all my friends were saying just jump. Jump, baby, jump, baby, baby, jump, jump, baby. Let yourself go. if you did it maybe, baby i’d have stayed for a while. so you left me, it upset me, and it sent me to Hell. Was it your only way to let me know the pain that you felt? (no, i had to ascertain a way to distance myself). burned a bridge is all you did, you said “i’ll start a new life”. built a prison where we’re hidden from the whys and a fair goodbye. what? (i can’t speak to you) why? (i can’t think of you) ten minutes of your time. and all i ask of you is just jump. just jump. in our own way we both messed with fate. now lets just make way.


Just a Little Booty (Two Terms of Endearment)

1, 2, I fell for you/ you’d better go along with this/ (your body made its promises)/ 3, 4, the votes are in/ 5, 6, 7, 8/ you’re the one I nominate// Somewhere along the line I made it seem like I’d commit/ ah shit/ I guess I asked for this/ all I wanted was just a little booty though/ for a couple months/ and then I’d blow/ do I apologize for making myself look great?/ I thought it common knowledge that romantic love was designed to manipulate// Girl I never asked for this// and I made no promises// There are two kinds of people, yeah, when it comes down to it/ and we fit like a model kit/ the first type will just tell you what you want to hear/ the flip-side/ yeah, you, my dear/ think you can change events or influence the vote swing/ when your only weapon (correction: protection)/ is selective listening.


Lauren (I will wait for you)

talk about your harsh lessons in life/ i could write volumes from how much i know/ its a shame that we don’t know just what we have until its gone/ i’d only change from something downright cruel// i will wait for you as long as i have to/ you’re the only one i ever saw myself with for forever/ each day that passes by brings me closer/ to the day where you say “hey there. you and me lets get back together again”// broken down this breakup breaks me down and smacks me around/ it made me wake up for the sake of showing me just how much i’ve lost/ over the years/ not just with you/ i’ve shed some tears from what i’ve been through/ but this last one cost too much/ now i’ve changed my attitude. // i will wait for you as long as i have to/ you’re the only one i ever saw myself with for forever/ each day that passes by brings me closer/ to the day where you say “hey there. you and me let's get back together again”


Left On McCraney

Its amazing we associate, in life, something elementary like left and right to represent a passage of time. Now all curb side turning lanes I’ve tried. Looking back… my route to your house. Looking back, my left was right. Looking back, the path I walked– it all led to a blissful life. I take a right, then I take another right again. And I found myself at the junction where, once upon a time, I used to take a left. And when you went away I lost that reason. Heading left, turn counter clockwise. Back in time. Back in time to the past where you were mine. Nothing else I had in life has felt so right since the time. Yeah, since the time when you were mine. All those I went to see my baby, it was the best part of my day. I took a left, yeah a left on McCraney. I’ll never need another way. Pulled to the right, hook, line and sinker, for a year now. She’s long gone. Broken-hearted with a broken left blinker, and the right way feels all wrong. Left is where we used to be. Left is what you did to me, and it left me feeling empty. How can all these rights feel so wrong? Its not dumb. Its a valid question when the one path means destruction and the other one leads to heaven. A turn for the worse, I’ve taken, my baby. I live for the day when you get to say to me, “Just take a left on McCraney”.


L.O.V.

You’re boyfriend’s back and you don’t need me anymore. (To tell me what?) To tell you that you’re beautiful. (Is that a fact?) And i mean it from the depths of my heart. (I’m not in love with you) Well what can you do? L.O.V. spells “incomplete”. And he’ll hang on to that letter because
until you get that “E” and then you give it to me, well then, you’re never gonna fall in love. He keeps you close. (There was never an official goodbye). You’re on the ropes (Staring lovingly…) …through swollen eyes. (He gives me hope!) But its only very thinly disguised. (Well what can you do?) He’s not in love with you.


Love is in the Air

Knock me down. Break my heart, again, with those words from your mouth. And you’re of the opinion that if you put me down, all this time we spend, i’ll appreciate your love and be fearful of its end. No one else would have me. Who would understand me? Who would put up with me anyway? I’m lucky to be with you. I don’t know what i would do without you constantly telling me how to be. Love is in the air and I’m choking to death on it. You touch my heart and its feeling like your fist. Being in love makes your heart a bigger target. Knock me down. Make me understand that if you leave its my fault ’cause i screwed up once again. But it takes two sides when someone takes offense. You can throw it in my face or be accepting who I am. You say you want to help me. That you don’t want to hurt me. I know your insecurities anyway. I know thats why you’re hurting me. But I don’t think that I can take any more of this. Hit me one time. Hit me two times. Hit me three times….


Me Moving On From Me

In order to move on, its more than knowing that its done. I have to hear I didn’t waste your time or three years of your life. Like a good movie when it ends– you’re not sad, you’re glad you went because of the memories. Did we have memories, or is it possible you dumped them too? Please let me know that I helped to make you grow. Something… anything… so i can let the past go. And move on to another girl. Treat her right, and not have the trouble of thinking that I probably ruined her life. Help my moving on from me. I don’t want you back.. I don’t. I realized that a year ago we grew apart, as you grew up, and became incompatable. But the way that it was left has me thinking I had wrecked your life– left bad memories. Are there memories of me that still make you smile?


Mr. Obvious

Hell yeah, I’m Mr. Obvious. Why are all my friends asking you if you like me? I didn’t ask them to. Could it be I’m not as subtle as I think I am? And though its not my thing I offered to drive you to this party. Anything for you. I’ve got a crush like the back of a garbage truck, its true. I do. On you. I’m out of my element and I’m not acting myself– I’m trying too hard. Hell yeah. Can you tell? Yeah, I’m Mr. Obvious. As soon as we arrived you left my side. I stared at you all night. I guess that I was alone in not knowing that you were there for another guy. He’s beside you. I’m behind you. Everything you do means everything. I like to keep crushes a secret. I pride myself on being discrete. It takes a special person to get my defenses down. I’m a mess.


Not Perfect Is Me

this girl i found/ i think i’m down/ turn around/ i’ve searched the grounds and you’re the most sound for me/ although i try i can’t find the reason why/ something in your eyes just makes me lose my mind// and i apologize if i ever try to put your down/ or even try and tell you otherwise/ wise men realize that what we often criticize is something in ourselves we secretly despise// the only thing about you that’s not perfect/ not perfect is me// i’ll tag along until you’re gone/ if something goes wrong i’ll know that i was the dirty one// even your flaws are perfectly charming/ and perfectly disarming with impeccable timing/ “you’re not really rhyming”/ i’m designing… i’m an idiot// the only thing about you that’s not perfect/ not perfect is me// perfect isn’t perfect enough of a word to capsulize you/ sink or swim this relationship stays afloat ’till i capsize you// it would almost be relieving/ to find your perfect surface peeling/ and though it would start my ego healing/ its not the hand that you are dealing.


NYC

so you say our time has come and gone/ well i’m sorry i can’t let that happen/ there’s so much, there’s so much more to be done/ its not a game and you won’t find me laughing/ so come on/ come with me/ i’ll show you/ that i’ve changed and everything will be great/ I’ve a lot of making up to do/ its true/ I don’t care if its too little too late// I missed it/ now its over/ i keep my promises
what can i say? i love her/ i owe her this// I wanna take you to New York City/ na na na na na na na na na na/ everyone’s so busy, but my girl’s so pretty/ they can fully understand this love i have/
and you can finally understand this love i have// we’ll go walk around park avenue/ down to central park/ we’ll visit the zoo/ and i want that place to be our home one day/ in spite of what you say// so come on/ come with me/ i’ll show you/ that i’ve changed and everything will be great/ I’ve a lot of making up to do/ its true/ I don’t care if its too little too late//Â (you missed it/ now its over)/ i keep my promises// what can i say? i love her/ (you owe me this)//Â I wanna take you to New York City/ na na na na na na na na na na/ everyone’s so busy, but my girl’s so pretty/ they can fully understand this love i have/ and you can finally understand this love i have// so why NY anyway?
’cause it represents everything i said we’d do/ but didn’t follow through/ even though its too late/ i want to make it up to you// I wanna take you to New York City/ na na na na na na na na na na
everyone’s so busy, but my girl’s so pretty/ they can fully understand this love i have/ and you can finally understand this love i have/ do you finally understand this love i have?


Oh, I’ll Get Her Alright

Girl of my dreams. Sits next to me. One night at my house– group of friends watch TV. Heard she likes me. I had the feeling. Cant watch this film cause i hope this will be a moment of time I can put in my sampler and loop it forever and ever ’cause i feel so good its stupid. She left her sweater. I’ll get her number. I’ll get her here for forever. Maybe by the weekend she’ll be my girlfriend. I get retarded just hoping. GIrl of my dreams. Sits next to me. One night at my house– group of friends watch TV. My hand by her knee, I’m trying to read the thoughts on her face as I look subtly. Something will happen if we continue like this. Its this knowledge and feeling that makes this part the nicest. And maybe I’ll hold her hand….


Only Happy When I’m Not

Today I found my troubles burst like bubbles. In a way I’m down, but I’ll see you back in that familiar place where sounds calm and soothing make my mood swing and my face turn frown. As I’m waiting for the ball to drop. Today I found my troubles burst like bubbles. In a way I’m down, but I’ll see you back in that familiar place. Profound are my mood swings. Am I losing? Throw the game. I’m bound. I can’t begin to understand my ways. Afraid that I’m so much happier when I’m not. And more complete when I’ve missed a spot. More on my game when I play it in the rain. I’m off and on and on. Today I changed my contentment to resentment. In a way I’m saved from disapointment ever taking place while on my journey. What concerns me is the case they make for the Little Engine finishing the race with regret on his face. That states: I’m so much happier when I’m not. And more complete when I’ve missed a spot. More on my game when I play it in the rain. I’m off and on and on. And on and on and on and on and off again. And I can live with that.


Perfect Summer

and i feel better/ and i look better/ and i know better than i did before/ ’cause i’ve uncovered/ and i’ve rediscovered/ how much i love her/ it never felt so pure// my fears of rejection and/ my need for protection can’t/ outdo her ultimate importance// after months and years of fears, frustration and tears/ i hit an all-time low and now things are looking up from here/ perfect summer/ now i love her/ and i’m always gonna make her number 1 through 9/ she’s mine/ we make a perfect 10/ and i won’t lose track or turn my back on that ever again/ perfect summer/ i know i love her/ and my days are only getting warmer// i’ll live better than i did before/ and i know that this time for sure/ i’ll love better than i did before/ cause i finally feel more secure// staying up that summer morning/ sprang up and without warning/ i let my love for her speak for me// after months and years of fears, frustration and tears/ i hit and all-time low and now things are looking up from here/ perfect summer/ now i love her/ and i’m always gonna make her number 1 through 9/ she’s mine/ we make a perfect 10/ and i won’t lose track or turn my back on that ever again/ perfect summer/ i know i love her/ and my days are only getting warmer// yeah/ it was my bad side after all/ that lead us to the fall of our relationship/ your only chance to end it/ it had the most profound effect/ and now you’re back and i won’t forget it// you said you lost faith/ well i had too/ the faith that i lost when i lost you/ it was in me/ it wasn’t you/ so many days in pain/ this fella/ broke from his chains and flew from HELL up to the stars…


Saturday Sat Alone

Gone away/ away with a sigh/ and I know you didn’t confide/ all the wheres/ the whats/ and the whys/ I was never great at reading your eyes/ here I sit/ I sit in the silence/ holding myself back from the violent need to self destruct/ cause I’m like this/ trying to figure out who this guy is// I should be out looking for my next ex-girlfriend// Saturday/ sat alone/ sadder tears than I’ve known/ I couldn’t get that girl to stay/ Saturday/ sat alone/ sadder tears than I’ve known/ as if she’d want to anyway// Now I’m back/ I’m back for the ride/ I meet a girl that opens my mind/ and like the tide she washes aside/ all my pain from previous lives/ now/ here I sit/ I sit in the silence/ how the hell did things turn out like this?/ “you’re the one, I like you” I confided/ freak out/ she has ex-boyfrienditis// I could try being more like him/ its not as if I’m happy with who I am/ I feel like getting just retarded on Old No. 7/ I should be out looking for my next ex-girlfriend// I’m not what she wanted anyway.


(Second Chances For) Second Chances

Call the time now, nurse, cause we just flat-lined. Let these guys and girls head for that bright, white light. Do not re-cessitate. I don’t think we’ll mess with fate or let learn from past mistakes. Give up the thought that second chances, followed by new romances, showed us the light. I get the sense its sickness like this: chronic and critical… because we love, we die habitual. The waiting room now overflows with the victims of the same tragic crash: the de-railment of love. The gurneys line the streets. Its best we let them bleed, and reflect on what they need for love to be. A flash back to see what was given to me but it came too easily. (And you didn’t even) try to maneuver those seas. I just floated by (like the way it used to be). But “used to be” grabbed me like an undercurrent. Steep decline. One day we’ll learn our lesson. All the ladies laid out that blew a second chance go “whoa oh”. All the fellas that no doubt went and blew a second chance go “whoa uh uh oh”.


September 4th

A guy woke up one morning/ a dream fresh in his thoughts/ a warning/ informing him about the girl he loved/ soaked in sweat recalling/ the details of his dream distorting/ but clear as day/ the day that she’ll be gone/ when she’ll be leaving him// “Please fill out the card/ I’ll serve you better/ I know it in my heart that you’re the one/ I’ll be following your notes dear/ to the letter/ until September 4th has come and gone// He spent the next few months reforming/ he stayed right by her side adoring/ imploring fate to change/ to change its mind/ if only he showed her all the love/ for reasons unknown he’d bottled up/ he could make her see the star he thought she was/ can’t take her leaving him// Well guess what happens to the future? It becomes the now/ and the gash we projected would need sutures/ well// It finally came/ September 4th/ he gets home from work and walks through the door/ on the foyer desk where he drops his keys/ he picks up the note/ left by his baby/ and it reads….// “My sweetheart, my everything, my Man. The sunshine of my life, and the only one who can give me every single thing I need with the stroking of my hand. I woke up from a dream today that helped me understand. Every plan you and I have shared and every moment spent has been complete and total bliss, beyond imagining. Our love embraces everyone and leaves me wondering…. how did I get so lucky? With all my love….” / And then the phone rang/ as he finished the note/ it fell from his hand/ right when he answered the phone/ it was their mutual friend/ calling from the hospital/ she’d been killed by a car/ as she was crossing the road// Whoa uh/ I know/ I’ve loved to my potential/ we’ve made the most of these past months/ when I go/ tomorrow/ that dream was instrumental/ we’ll have lived the love that millions won’t/ ever know// Now I won’t regret having lost my baby/ from ever holding back or turning to run/ now the sun has set on life my lady/ come tomorrow night we’ll start beyond.


She Doesn't Believe M'Words

I'm stupidest when I'm in love because all my thoughts are on you/ I'm frightened of heights when I'm in love-- so far to fall, so much to lose/ So take this dumb and scared little boy who says "whatever I do…/ … no matter how stupid and hurtful I was I was stammering and loving you true"/ I once knew bliss but I was kicked out of heaven/ because the day I lost you was the day I lost everything/ If you're my better half then we're only three quarters/ because I'm an incomplete puzzle with no edges or corners/ I don't want anybody closer/ It's bad enough this weight on my shoulders


So Damn Cute

You say you’ll never run away from me again. I said’ “It's all in my head– my fears of this”. Here I am, innocent, trying to be a better man. And I’ll always be a part of you. We’re so far gone now. But we’re so damn cute. They say, “It’ll never be the same”. But who the hell are they anyway. Here I am, innocent, trying to be a better man. And I’ll always be a part of you. We’re so far gone now. But we’re so damn cute. I feel it never felt so real– my dreams of us. Here I am, innocent, trying to be a better man. And I’ll always be a part of you. Ladies and gentleman, I’m only here to represent the lonely dreamer side of you. We’re so far gone now. But we’re so damn cute.


That’s What Girls Do

I’m convinced you’re gonna leave me/ when you go off to school/ when your friends are all new/ when you find out I’m not cool/ hurt me/ when you go to a party/ take a drink for disarming/ and you end up in the pool// Believe me/ I’m not acting the fool/ won’t find me waiting on you/ I’ll be counting to one, two/ three, four/ I’ll be up out the door/ before my heart hits the floor/ in the comfort of your dorm// And rumours grow like tumors/ that begin to block your vision/ and I can hear from all my peers/ who swear they saw you with him// That’s what’s gonna happen/ ’cause that’s what girls do/ and its just a matter of time// The irony’s not lost on me that I have slammed the door shut/ and lost the key on you and me before I let you in, but…


There’s a Big #@$%ing Elephant in the Room

Well you left in a flash/ and like that you came back to me/ I want to move from the past/ and I’m lucky to have you back/ (there’s an elephant in the room)/ always knew in my mind that I needed to find out/ (I think its more than fair to ask)/Â how our love was so strong/ then it ended/ its back now/ (its requisite to make it last)// I need you/ more and more/ to see through/ the fact that I’m trying to hold back from asking/ “I needed you more and more”/ is what I needed to hear from you/ that our time spent apart was unbearably hard// I only wanted to know that you can’t go without me/ (when you told me how your year has been)/ the first email you sent you had said you were happy/ (so why’d you let me back in?)


The Sad Clown

GIRLS: this is my last resort and –BOYS: my tears now flood the floor, and –GIRLS: i’ve got to shut the door then –BOYS: four years. four years means nothing// lets be friends (be friends) “well that all depends on if you show some class, and stop making amends.” but i’ve lost your love, and i bet if i repent. “i’ll what? go back? and reverse my intents?” well given the state (the state) the state of current trends “with who?” your girlfriends “its got nothing to do with them” well we can stay in touch “we can do as such, but the time has come. pretend. we’re only friends by my watch”/ i’ll just grin and bare it/ it isn’t fair/ it isn’t fair// i’m like the sad clown/ eyes big and brown/ note the smile on my face/ stretched ear to ear/ and all that/ all that i can ever taste is bitter tears/ as they slowly, ever surely wash away this mask of idiotic bliss// “this isn’t gonna work.” was i being a jerk? why won’t you speak to me? do you even think of me? “not even listening” please respond to me “would you just move on from me?” it’s killing me. its killing me/ this isn’t how you do it/ i can’t move on/ i can’t move on// i’m like the sad clown/ eyes big and brown/ note the smile on my face/ stretched ear to ear/ and all that/ all that i can ever taste is bitter tears/ as they slowly, ever surely wash away this mask of idiotic bliss// i guess i’m supposed to just up and move on from this/ no grace time/ no goodbye/ no final kiss/ this is the worst way that you could’ve handled this/ ‘i love you so much’ means nothing to you. // i’m like the sad clown/ eyes big and brown/ note the smile on my face/ stretched ear to ear/ and all that/ all that i can ever taste is bitter tears/ as they slowly, ever surely wash away this mask of idiotic bliss


Time Apart

I got a feeling of pain because i knew it would suck when your phone call came and you said “I’ve gotta talk to you. i’ve thought it through. i’m leaving you alone and it’s the hardest thing i’ve had to do. I wish you well and thanks for being patient, baby. i know you want a better explanation, maybe. let’s call it a day. because i’m running out of things i can say anyway.”// there’s no debating baby, this has been hard. It makes us stronger, maybe, this time apart. this time apart.// what’s supposed to be done, what am i supposed to do when you want your space and i just want to be close to you? my toast to you is leaving you alone when it’s the hardest thing i’ve had to do. this is HELL, but i’m sure it will be healthy. we’ll be better in the end. you’ll have time to think about what you want. we’ll see. but i have so much faith that what you want is me.// there’s no debating baby, this has been hard. It makes us stronger, maybe, this time apart. no better way to see that i’m a retard, than taking yourself away. so we can see what we’ve been missing.// nothing. nothing. nothing has meaning at all. everything. everything is so much better with you involved.// there’s no debating baby, this has been hard. It makes us stronger, maybe, this time apart. no better way to see that i’m a retard, than taking yourself away. so we can see what we’ve been missing.// stay bright, my light/ one heart apart/ divine design/ give time/ so we can see what we’ve been missing.


What I Want

I met you last night, it was love at first sight, If only for me and not for you. I payed my cards right, you’re not very bright. “If only I knew what I got myself into”. And through my life I’ve gotten everything I’ve ever wanted. now I want you, my dear, the choice is clear, cause now I’m on it. You’re asking your friends “so what should I do?”, I’ve targeted, markered, and underlined you. I’ve done this before “the rumours are true”, I’ll keep calling and calling till you love me too. I made a hairdoll from the comb you left in your bedroom. I sit for hours waiting for your name on ICQ. (nobody uses that anymore. that would explain it). I want you and I to be together, impossibilities won’t faze me. And all these things that seem to stand in our way won’t get you out home free. You better hope to God you come around. ‘Cause you’re what I want. I think of you. I dream of you. Incorperate you into every day life. I’d kill for you. I’d die for you. I’d bury just to make you mine. “I live too far way, and I’m too young for you. My parents don’t like you, and I’m not in love with you.” Yeah, But…. I want you and I to be together, impossibilities won’t faze me. And all these things that seem to stand in our way won’t get you out home free. She’s ignoring my calls and staying out of my sight, now how do I get her? You’re cold pretty lady, like a Yukon night, in the dead of kill her… whoops I meant to say winter.


Wishingly Waiting Patiently

today begins with me knowing that i won’t see your face again at least until the sun goes down/ and i sleep deeply/ your picture next to me/ and i dream of you// this week begins with me knowing that i won’t hear your voice at all/ but still i wait here for your call/ in HELL i’m happily speaking telepathically/ i send my love to you// and i know you want your time and space/ try and stay away from me/ but you won’t stay out of my head quite that easily// and i’m so disgusted with myself that i should be so weak/ so weak that my insecurities could control me// heaven help me/ put me at ease/ lost in HELL we can’t rest in peace// this month began with you saying your love for me was lost/ i’m sure that one day we’ll find its returned/ so i’ll keep wishingly waiting patiently for the best day of my life.


Your Dedication

One guy, one girl, yeah one happy couple/ two years go by and he starts to stumble/ is she the last one that he’ll ever know?/ HE SAYS: “I wanna see if I can/ wanna see if its still fun/ I wanna see if I’ve got the will/ one day I’ll be satisfied with the girl that I kept at my side// I wanted all your dedication to myself/ my needs, my dreams/ yeah to hell with someone else/ I wanted all your dedication to myself/ let drink to my health// Now she always intended to go the mile/ to do her best, to look happy, to smile/ to keep this boy and her together a while/ SHE SAYS: “I always thought it my job to hold together this love, until I started thinking of/ all those times that I felt left behind/ I won’t be left behind”/ “What I did I did because/ I was insecure/ I was insecure because you made me think our love/ wasn’t what I thought it was/ so I went and screwed it up/ and found out for myself just how to live without.”