Love You To Death

Long time yeah/ good friend of mine/ you believed in what I believed in/ everything was fine/ time flies when you’re in a disaster/ but I didn’t mind/ cause I knew what was in line/ you said goodbye at the worst possible time// The most beautiful girl alive/ years spent/ a commitment declined/ you believed in what I believed in/ you believed in what I believed in/ but I lost my mind/ and you said goodbye at the worst possible time// I rule you suck/ cause I’m a rockstar/ and you’re not/ you’re not/ and no thanks to you/ now all my dreams have come true/ come true// Friends come and go like the nights/ seven years/ a hundred peers/ said goodbye/ cryptic words and evasive actions/ they stayed together/ but I was severed/ got left behind/ they said goodbye/ I hope they fuckin’ die// For years I didn’t feel special/ and its all cause of you/ you made me feel like an asshole/ but it just wasn’t true/ for years I didn’t feel special/ and its all cause of you/ you made me feel like an asshole/ but the asshole was you…

time for another video game analogy/ she wins/ flawless victory/ fatality/ eyes locked on the pretty girl of the party/ entered my coins now/ lets get this party started right/ slide up to this girl with perfect timing/ she smiles at somebody just behind me/ mind locks when i go to say the perfect line/ she passes me be/ denied/ let me try this all again// you’ve gotta be/ an enemy/ like wario or doctor wiley/ i’m learning from mistakes i’ve made each time i’ve died/ i’m fine/ i’ll retry/ you’ve gotta be/ an enemy/ like wario or doctor wiley/ you’re the princess and last boss at the same time/ i got knocked down but i’ll try it again i’ve/ entered my code and now i’ve got 99 lives// i need/ a strategy guide to get me/ to the other side of this draw bridge/ and pull it out from your feet/ and make you fall in love with me/ timing is key/ i’ll make you fall in love with me// up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, select, start// now i’ll play you all night.

my love for you is the key for our journey through this destiny// (i think i finally get it) and i know that now/ it took years of failure/ and lying to myself/ so i could see// you and me more than a family/ tighter than a team and stronger than an army/ one, two keys turning at the same time/ opening a gold mine/ a life divine// you’re unconvinced at this state/ but my question is “can you fight fate”?// (i think i finally get it) i never felt more certain in my life/ and at such a touchy time (and i believe) it still feels right (i’ll make you see)//  you and me more than a family/ tighter than a team and stronger than an army/ one, two keys turning at the same time/ opening a gold mine/ a life divine// i know that i’ve done enough/ enough damage to pay with years of this/ but i promise you that change was made at the same instant/ that you’d had enough of me/ enough of us/ enough guessing how i felt/ i never felt so sure about anything or anybody else.//  you and me more than a family/ tighter than a team and stronger than an army/ one, two keys turning at the same time/ opening a gold mine/ a life divine

I promise not to start this off with the words “I’m sorry”….. I’m sorry if and when i hurt you– just know that I won’t mean to. But I’m starting off this relationship wrong. And I know its not your job to undo, or make me feel I’m wanted by someone. I guess you’re feeling like you’re plan B, the runner up, contingency, Part 2. Hey baby, you’ve just gotta believe me, I promise thats not what I’m trying to do. So here’s my disclaimer: I work on retainer, so just know that no contract with you can undo my past. So here’s my disclaimer, my word of reminder that our rebounds are just “rebounds” later on when we look back.  And today I had a set-back, or more like a flashback,  when going through a box of my old things. And I came across a photograph and tears came flooding down with memories. And you could call it reminiscing, but the reasons that I’m with you are all wrong. But I’m hoping that you’ll stick with me, cause thats the one thing that she hadden’t done. I promise not to end this off with the words “I’m sorry”….

every time i see you/ my heart stops/ and my breathing too/ no i don’t even have to see you/ only think of you/ and my heart gets torn in two// every time i think i/ see you driving by/ or from a crowd behind/ i feel my temperature go sky-high/ and i realize/ i’m more afraid of you than dying// afraid to check my phone calls or my email/ i’m living in complete fear of a female/ “is it so hard to imagine life without me now?”/ no this is more like HELL// every time i see you/ my heart stops/ and my breathing too/ no i don’t even have to see you/ only think of you/ and my heart gets torn in two, three, four/ its more than i can bare.

The past 6 weeks she felt like the feeling was gone. But he can’t seem to handle seeing her go. From what he sees it seems like the feeling was strong, so how could she just break up and tell him move on? Try to let her go, but its hard to follow through. The more she thinks you think she’s coming back the harder she’ll try to disprove that. He tells his peeps that she’s all that matters. He’s past his peak, he won’t find a better one. So why’d the “perfect” girl for you move on? Were things as good as you would like to lead on? Simple but its true. Its a typical, manipulable, thing to sink to such a level. A sinking ship, a desperado, clinging to another vessel for miles in denial.

I’m gonna drive myself mad again/ my best friend says “don’t you know you do this all the time”/ i heard about another crush i’m in/ i’m gonna go hook up with her and help fill my ego then// i’m fully aware that this will go on and on till another catches my eye/ fully prepared to sell myself short and go/ go with it/ fully aware that this is for/ all the wrong reasons entirely/ but this part’s too much fun for me to just sit back and let it go// i’ve gone and driven myself mad again/ her best friend tells me “she’s been hurt too much” but i never wanted to commit/ well maybe i said i did/ but i don’t remember it// it makes me feel good about me/ enjoy it while it lasts, sorry// seemed like a good idea at the time/ line by line as i justify whats on my mind/ i had no way of knowing that i’d make you cry or my interest would decline in such a short time.

The clock is slowly ticking by, but not as slow as i would like it to. If i were closer to my dreams I would want this time to speed on through. I wanna rip out all the pages in my calender– be standing motionless in time forever after. ‘Cause every empty day that passes by without a forward movement I wanna give up. How am I supposed to feel better when I don’t really feel anything at all at all? How am I supposed to get better when I don’t really get anything at all at all? Get me the rock outta here. If something’s gonna happen you’d better make it snappy.  I want to dissapear.  Get me the rock outta here. I’m losing all my senses. I’m going numb, defensive, and feeling insecure. Its been 5 years and my bedroom mirror only has to show me a face that’s losing hope.  If only it wasn’t there I wouldn’t care about reflections telling me i’ve gone nowhere. “I am the immesurable potential of all that was, is and will be. And my desires are like seeds left in the ground. They wait for the right season and then spontainiously manifest into beautiful flowers and majestic forests”. If this doesn’t happen soon I think I’ll be reduced to an unfeeling mess of depression.

she’s gonna gonna leave you in the summertime/ her friends are better and she’ll say goodbye/ its a 3 month girls night out// you’ll find the goddess Venus is in retrograde/ she’s gonna stay hidden ’til a later date/ you’re on your own for now.// she’s just being gay/ not gay in the usual sense of the word/ but she might as well be/ she’ll try to break it off with you/ she won’t even talk to you/
she won’t even offer you a reason/ she’ll be back/ don’t have a fucking heart attack// “i’ll catch ya catch ya later, baby”/ i’ll be that much insaner, maybe// so you’d better get ready for some lonely nights/ try to figure out/ but its a losing fight/ just exactly what went down// she’s just being gay/ not gay in the usual sense of the word/ but she might as well be/ she’ll try to break it off with you/ she won’t even talk to you/ she won’t even offer you a reason/ she’ll be back/ don’t have a fucking heart attack// “somebody SCREAM” .// she’s just being gay/ not gay in the usual sense of the word/ but she might as well be/ she’ll try to break it off with you/ she won’t even talk to you/
she won’t even offer you a reason/ she’ll be back/ don’t have a fucking heart attack

I’ve got more hangups than a bad telemarketer/ but will she meet me first before she disconnects/ and i hope and pray that she initiates/ this conversation first because i’m scared to death/ i couldn’t be less approachable if totally engulphed in flames/ with a smile she could make me drop and spin/ i’d just like to hear a nice remark from her/ because this loneliness is wearing kinda thin// guess i gotta guess why/ all the girls avoid me like poison/ is it cause i’m 7 feet wide/ or act like i’m 7 years old// is there a point to wondering, and pondering, and overthinking this/ I don’t wanna be the Socrates of geeks/ is it something like she thinks she’s being a pest/ do i look dumb, is something in my teeth?// my biggest problem is that all my favourite girls are too shy to talk to me and i’m so nervous i could hurl/ when i try to talk to them/ so i keep my mouth shut/ and end up looking like a snob ’cause i’m afraid of screwing up.