Love You To Death

I’m convinced you’re gonna leave me/ when you go off to school/ when your friends are all new/ when you find out I’m not cool/ hurt me/ when you go to a party/ take a drink for disarming/ and you end up in the pool// Believe me/ I’m not acting the fool/ won’t find me waiting on you/ I’ll be counting to one, two/ three, four/ I’ll be up out the door/ before my heart hits the floor/ in the comfort of your dorm// And rumours grow like tumors/ that begin to block your vision/ and I can hear from all my peers/ who swear they saw you with him// Thats what’s gonna happen/ ’cause thats what girls do/ and its just a matter of time// The irony’s not lost on me that I have slammed the door shut/ and lost the key on you and me before I let you in, but…

1, 2, I fell for you/ you’d better go along with this/ (your body made its promises)/ 3, 4, the votes are in/ 5, 6, 7, 8/ you’re the one I nominate// Somewhere along the line I made it seem like I’d commit/ ah shit/ I guess I asked for this/ all I wanted was just a little booty though/ for a couple months/ and then I’d blow/ do I apologize for making myself look great?/ I thought it common knowledge that romantic love was designed to manipulate// Girl I never asked for this// and I made no promises// There are two kinds of people, yeah, when it comes down to it// and we fit like a model kit/ the first type will just tell you what you want to hear/ the flip-side/ yeah, you, my dear/ think you can change events or influence the vote swing/ when your only weapon (correction: protection)/ is selective listening.

January/ fairly early/ falling for some crush/ I’m sure we’re meant to be more/ “February/ friend of a friend/ hung out a couple times/ not sure if I liked him”/ March Break I take her to a powder bowl/ a premier/ a Rock and Roll festival/ “April, May/ if I remember it right/ we hung out all day and decided one night/ we’ll hook up/ if only for summer”// I once had the most beautiful girl/ it scared me to death because she was my whole world/ it was love with a capital L in that it started with Heaven and it ended in Hell/ “I once had the most beautiful boy/ and every second that we spent I enjoyed it/ but times change and people move on/ though he wanted more/ I knew the feeling was gone”//  Summer went and came just like a hurricane/ but leaves change/ September blew them all away/ “new school/ new life/ there’s no time/ but i’ll try to write”/ There’s distance between us/ and to my surprise/ its on the map in fact as well as her eyes/ “With a sigh/ we went for a drive under November skies/ one final time/ goodbye/ we’re not gonna make it”// Every moment spent/ and every breath you take/ was the best I had/ and then my heart would break/ there’s no happy ending/ so for both our sakes/ lets just kiss one last time/ and then walk away…

Well you left in a flash/ and like that you came back to me/ I want to move from the past/ and I’m lucky to have you back/ (there’s an elephant in the room)/ always knew in my mind that I needed to find out/ (I think its more than fair to ask)/  how our love was so strong/ then it ended/ its back now/ (its requisite to make it last)// I need you/ more and more/ to see through/ the fact that I’m trying to hold back from asking/ “I needed you more and more”/ is what I needed to hear from you/ that our time spent apart was unbearably hard// I only wanted to know that you can’t go without me/ (when you told me how your year has been)/ the first email you sent you had said you were happy/ (so why’d you let me back in?)

Assuming you want to stay/ assuming I’m worth the effort/ assuming the oath you made/ wasn’t just a whim that day/ assuming I’ve changed my ways/ assuming I’ve worked on my end/ assuming I take the blame/ would you say you’ve done the same?// I saw you/ with no rain and no pain in your eyes/ its so true/ with no clouds and no shame from our minds/ to flutter through/ insane but its pure and its right/ and I love you/ did you catch the same look from the side of your eye/ a dozen times/ from me any given night?// Assuming we saw the light/ and we learned what we were missing/ assuming we’re worth the fight/ and we know that this feels right/ when we’re in each other’s minds/ even when we make bad choices/ cause we know we’ll never find/ another love like yours and mine// Long talks and assumptions/ dark thoughts and presumptions/ there’s fears and uncertainty/ and tears/ insecurity/ but all that aside/ there’s a look in our eyes/ that never lies/ and can’t be denied….

One guy, one girl, yeah one happy couple/ two years go by and he starts to stumble/ is she the last one that he’ll ever know?/ HE SAYS: “I wanna see if I can/ wanna see if its still fun/ I wanna see if I’ve got the will/ one day I’ll be satisfied with the girl that I kept at my side// I wanted all your dedication to myself/ my needs, my dreams/ yeah to hell with someone else/ I wanted all your dedication to myself/ let drink to my health// Now she always intended to go the mile/ to do her best, to look happy, to smile/ to keep this boy and her together a while/ SHE SAYS:  “I always thought it my job to hold together this love, until I started thinking of/ all those times that I felt left behind/ I won’t be left behind”// “What I did I did because/ I was insecure/ I was insecure because you made me think our love/ wasn’t what I thought it was/ so I went and screwed it up/ and found out for myself just how to live without.”

Eyes are open/ heart is broken/ they have spoken/ the nay-sayers finally won/ ’cause all their voices stole my choices/ and destroyed rejoices/ and said it couldn’t be done/ is that me/ is that all that I’ve amounted to?/ broken dreams/ empty halls/ that they can wander through/ where all they see on the walls are the nails and screws/ that once hung painted dreams of the brightest hues// Honestly/ its part of me/ that they can’t taint with that disease/ I’ve taken falls/ I’ve heard it all/ but I will stand up tall/ with style// Forever I endeavor and I’m never gonna sever/ I will follow to the letter what I know is right/ and even if they don’t believe/ still when I die they’ll open me/ and find a heart that stubbornly still clings to life// Telling me you don’t believe/ I don’t want to hear about it/ welcome us to your scene/ scream shout it/ scream shout it/ all the wheels of this machine/ turn as one and never doubt it/ giving us what we need/ rock out it ROCK// When it rains/ sunshine/ it pours/ tickle my back and I’ll get yours

My darling/ my dove/ the girl that I love/ its been like a year and I’m still dreaming of/ your voice/ like wind/ and how I sinned you// Right away you jumped ship/ attached to his hip/ I’m having nightmares of your neck on his lips/ but cling like glue to thoughts of we two// I should be moving on/ I know this/ a rebound shouldn’t last this long/ I can’t bare it/ its apparent you love him/ still you’ll find me holding on// If we’re A to B/ then how fit in C?/ I’ve got my BA/ yeah my bachelor’s degree/ on missing you/ see what you do to me// Do you plan with he/ what you planned with me/ of all those round trips and the places we’d see/ but can’t quite bring yourself ring true?

A guy woke up one morning/ a dream fresh in his thoughts/ a warning/ informing him about the girl he loved/ soaked in sweat recalling/ the details of his dream distorting/ but clear as day/ the day that she’ll be gone/ when she’ll be leaving him// “Please fill out the card/ I’ll serve you better/ I know it in my heart that you’re the one/ I’ll be following your notes dear/ to the letter/ until September 4th has come and gone// He spent the next few months reforming/ he stayed right by her side adoring/ imploring fate to change/ to change its mind/ if only he showed her all the love/ for reasons unknown he’d bottled up/ he could make her see the star he thought she was/ can’t take her leaving him// Well guess what happens to the future? It becomes the now/ and the gash we projected would need sutures/ well// It finally came/ September 4th/ he gets home from work and walks through the door/ on the foyer desk where he drops his keys/ he picks up the note/ left by his baby/ and it reads….// “My sweetheart, my everything, my Man. The sunshine of my life, and the only one who can give me every single thing I need with the stroking of my hand. I woke up from a dream today that helped me understand. Every plan you and I have shared and every moment spent has been complete and total bliss, beyond imagining. Our love embraces everyone and leaves me wondering…. how did I get so lucky? With all my love….” // And then the phone rang/ as he finished the note/ it fell from his hand/ right when he answered the phone/ it was their mutual friend/ calling from the hospital/ she’d been killed by a car/ as she was crossing the road// Whoa uh/ I know/ I’ve loved to my potential/ we’ve made the most of these past months/ when I go/ tomorrow/ that dream was instrumental/ we’ll have lived the love that millions won’t/ ever know// Now I won’t regret having lost my baby/ from ever holding back or turning to run/ now the sun has set on life my lady/ come tomorrow night we’ll start beyond.

Gone away/ away with a sigh/ and I know you didn’t confide/ all the wheres/ the whats/ and the whys/ I was never great at reading your eyes/ here I sit/ I sit in the silence/ holding myself back from the violent need to self destruct/ cause I’m like this/ trying to figure out who this guy is// I should be out looking for my next ex-girlfriend// Saturday/ sat alone/ sadder tears than I’ve known/ I couldn’t get that girl to stay/ Saturday/ sat alone/ sadder tears than I’ve known/ as if she’d want to anyway// Now I’m back/ I’m back for the ride/ I meet a girl that opens my mind/ and like the tide she washes aside/ all my pain from previous lives/ now/ here I sit/ I sit in the silence/ how the hell did things turn out like this?/ “you’re the one, I like you” I confided/ freak out/ she has ex-boyfrienditis// I could try being more like him/ its not as if I’m happy with who I am/ I feel like getting just retarded on Old No. 7/ I should be out looking for my next ex-girlfriend// I’m not what she wanted anyway.